Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
