The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
