Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
