she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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