I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
