If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
