the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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