She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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