So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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