Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
