Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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