I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
