The best revenge is premature balding
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
