I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
