i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
