I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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