ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I cut my penus on the lid.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
