Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
In America we eat man semen.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
