I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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