i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
