Who wears a wallet chain?!
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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