haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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