apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Randomize
