it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
