I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
