I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
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