i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
