AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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