holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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