No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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