Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
