I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
