dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
