I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
It's official drugs can't kill me
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
