I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
