Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
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