I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
