Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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