I wish I only lived at night.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
