Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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