To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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