So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I forget how to act sober
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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