i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
