making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
