Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
