Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
