Me too!
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
two words...techno handjob
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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