so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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