she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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