I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
