Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
