You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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